First things first my little werkers: be sure to like my new Facebook page (via this link or my cool new widget to the right). I promise to update it with hot tips, bonus reviews and giveaways, so like it now and let’s be friends.
Now onto the goods: You all know I love me some Flywheel, SoulCycle and Revolve. I love the stats and competition in Flywheel but sometimes when I’m feeling less beastly I hit up Soul. And sometimes when I’m not feeling choreography or competition I hit up Revolve. I appreciate that each studio has their own little personality to match my ever-changing mood.
When I heard about the newest playa on the scene, Swerve Fitness, I was like, mmmmkay I’ll get there someday. But then when I heard that you ride in teams and are assigned colors like Color Wars during summer camp (anyone?), I was like, must.sign.up.now.
I should note that when I entered the studio I was impressed by how pretty, sparkly and spacious it was. The friendly front desk staff oriented me on my first visit and offered me (free) rental spin shoes. They even asked me if I wanted to place a smoothie order now at the juice bar to have ready for when class finished. Oh hay fancy pants.
With a stellar first impression, I geared up for some team-style ass kicking (even though I was by myself). Here’s what went down:
45 minute class with LOTS of hardcore sprints and hills plus one arm segment using 2, 3 or 5 pound-ers.
When you sign up, you select a team: green, blue or red. I chose blue because at the time when I signed up, blue seemed to have the least team members and I’m an equitable person. I realized after I sat on my bike that I was wearing a red shirt. And then I thought, what if I had come dressed in all blue? That would have made me really, reallllly cool.
There is a monitor on your bike that gives you data including your RPMs, resistance level, and your own personal “output score.” The screens at the front of the studio display the team scores. These screens are only on sporadically throughout the werkout for 2 purposes: 1) When we “raced” for 15, 30 or 90 seconds and a team champion was declared; and 2) to display our teams’ overall output or score.
Whenever a team won a race, the instructor would flash a green, blue, or red light (well, okay, just a green or blue light because red was left in the dust. Suckers.)
Of course because I’m an insane person, I was a little concerned about being dead weight on the blue team and then everyone hating me and pushing me off my bike. But. It’s really not that serious. I mean, I hated the green team because they ultimately won. But I didn’t seriously hate them.
Will You Survive?:
You will survive, but it will be a rough ride. The instructor will give you targets: for example, “your resistance should be between a 3 and a 5 and your RPM target is 120.” If you are following along with the instructor, you will werk it honey. I was gasping for air and sweating like a pig. At one point the instructor looked at me and was like, “are you okay?” I nodded (because I was too out of breath to speak). I guess my game face looked more like an “I’m going to barf now’ face. That’s what being a competitive asshole does to me.
Even if you aren’t competitive by nature, when you are racing and see that the godforsaken green dillholes are 0.1 points ahead of you, your legs will move like they’ve never moved before.
I suppose you could take it easy, but chances are, peer pressure will get to you. Even if no one on your team notices your slacking, your fear of their collective side-eye will put a fire in your pants.
The In Crowd:
There was a nice mix of men and ladies. Our instructor, Dyan, noticed this and was like, “Ladies, there are lots of men here. And men, there are lots of ladies, so you all better werk hard so you look good. And if you are men who like men or ladies who like ladies, you have no excuse because there is something for everyone here.”
Playing to sexual desires to make us move. Love it.
Will You find a Date/Friend?:
What to wear:
Don’t wear baggy pants. I made this mistake at a cycling class once years ago like a doofus and my pants did in fact get caught up in the wheel.
You will need spin shoes but rent them here for free! or bring your own.
I’ve taken Dyan’s Tsiumis’ class at Revolve and loved her, but I honestly don’t remember her being this much of a tiny spitfire. She was dancing around like someone had given her 7 Redbulls and was cracking jokes that made me not just crack a smile, but full-out LOL.
Dyan also has an amazing story. She lost 75 lbs and became a fitness instructor. Girl knows what’s up.
Does it work?:
Holy hell I got a serious werkout.
Walking Funny or Not So Sore?:
At the end of class when we were stretching Dyan was like, “so if you are new to cycling, you may be sore downtown. You may be like HOLY F*CKBALLS DID I RUIN SOMETHING? But I promise you, it’s normal and will go away with time as you come regularly.” I couldn’t stop laughing.
Besides your fun parts, you may be sore in the arms if you aren’t used to lifting light weights for what seems like forever (but is really only 1 or 2 songs).
Keep your Blow-Out or Sweaty Beast?:
One and Done or Do it a Ton?:
Do it a Ton!
Know before you go:
- Swerve fitness is located on 30 W 18th Street (btw 5th and 6th).
- Classes are $30 a pop and your first class is a two-fer-one. Packages are available.
- Complimentary shoe rental.
- Water bottles for sale or fill up your own with their water fountain.
- M and F locker rooms with showers on site.
- Smoothie bar!
- You can opt-out of the team competition, but I advise participating in the fun.