Listen. I like Single Ladies as much as the next guy. And I have seen Queen B in concert. But I have to admit something. And I may be crucified for it and/or lose my gay icon status.
I’m not a complete OMG Beyonce fanatic. I do think she is amazingly talented–so much so that I sometimes wonder if she is a robot–but I don’t DIE over her. I mean not like I do Taylor Swift (Kidding) (Sort of). Maybe it was B’s cringe-worthy HBO documentary where she kept making model face into the camera and saying that god made her special that made me slightly turn on her. And vomit on myself. But I digress.
Two of my gay besties wanted to take the Broadway Bodies Beyonce dance class. And I am not one to turn down a Broadway Bodies class. Or my besties.
You may recall I reviewed Broadway Bodies in one of my early blogs posts. That was one of my favorite classes (more fun-wise and less serious-werkout wise) and I couldn’t wait to return. Turns out the Beyonce class was quite the different experience. Here’s what went down:
When I went to the previous Broadway Bodies show tunes dance class, pre-class activity was a breeze. I basically just walked in and started my kick-line.
That was much unlike the Beyonce class which was STRESS.FUL. There were so many people waiting around for class that even though we were already registered I felt like I wasn’t going to get in. What is happening? Is Beyonce actually HERE? Then when we were lined up to enter the studio the woman who is the class manager was like, “This class is full. And don’t email me complaining that the studio is too crowded. You chose to stay here.”
I’m sorry but we also paid.
Where do I punch someone?
I realize this isn’t really “the skinny” but it pissed me off that she made that comment.
But after that snafu, class was seriously fun. Even though the studio was a bit too crowded it didn’t bother me much.
The skinny= warmup to a myriad of Beyonce songs where you don’t learn choreo but just follow along with the instructor. After the warm up, learn a routine to a Beyonce song. We danced to “Partition” off the new album. Before we started, the instructor was all, “does anyone NOT know this song?” I didn’t raise my hand because I didn’t want to look like an outcast. But I didn’t know it. I’m sorry but I don’t love the new Beyonce album. There I said it. Don’t sick the Beygency on me.
Will You Survive?:
You will. Broadway Bodies is a fun werkout and you will werk up a sweat, but it’s not high impact.
The choreo moved quickly which was sometimes challenging, but the dance was pretty easy to get the hang of. The instructor was great at explaining the moves slowly and going over each 8 count a million times until everyone had it down.
I will say, I took this class when I was only about 8 weeks pregnant (this post has been sitting in my drafts for a looong time) and I don’t know that I would feel as comfortable grinding my booty at 23 weeks. Think lots of body rolls and booty shakes. Also there were some drop-to-the-floor-and-quickly-get-up maneuvers which would be super awkward with a large preggers belly.
The In Crowd:
The crowd was so different than the Broadway show tunes dance class (which, for me, was kind of disappointing). The show tune class? Theater freaks = best people ever. The Beyonce class? Too many people who thought they were Beyonce.
Will You find a Date/Friend?:
You might snag a friend. But probably not a date.
What to wear:
Rock sneakers and whatever werkout attire you have. This was not the Lululemon skinny bitch crowd.
I will show you a picture of the instructor and you will understand that he is fabulous.
Mitchell Wayne keeps it fun and light. He will encourage your sass and will call you out if you are insecure and holding back your Sasha Fierce. “No one is looking at you so don’t be shy!” he said to the class. “You think everyone is staring at you but trust me: they are only looking at themselves.” So true.
He also had us strike some improvised poses when the music clearly called for a quick hit with a sultry stare (refer to photo above). And if you did the same move every time he’d be like, “girlllll, you better get creative and switch it up.” My signature B move was to stick my ass out so it was in my friends’ faces and simultaneously flip my hair over my head while ending my move with a face that asked you, “what you looking at?”
Mitchell not only brought out everyone’s inner Queen B, he was also an amazing dancer.
Does it work?:
Will it give you a new ass? Doubtful. Will it bring out your sass? Yes.
If you are looking for some cardio without the crazy intensity, this is your jam.
Walking Funny or Not So Sore?:
Not so sore.
Keep your Blow-Out or Sweaty Beast?:
Somewhere in between. I wasn’t too schweaty but one of my friends was a little beasty after class. But he also came straight from Mark Fisher Fitness. Show off.
One and Done or Do it a Ton?:
Do it a Ton! Caveat: IF you can get into class. The Beyonce classes book up FAST so you seriously have to sign up the MINUTE they become available (and I’m sorry I don’t know when that is but you may want to call the studio).
It makes me a little sad for humanity that the Broadway Bodies show tune classes have drop-in availability but the Broadway Bodies Beyonce classes don’t. What does that say about the world we live in?
Our class already had a waitlist and many of the Beyonce classes were booking up at the time I signed up, but you could still get in a few months ago. But the week after I attended, the freaking New York Times did a story on the class. As if it needed any more publicity! So now it’s even more impossible to get in. (And I mean with the publicity that this blog post brings? Triple impossible. Clearly
Know before you go:
- Classes in NYC take place at rented dance studios and the locations change so check the website. Most classes are at studios in Chelsea.
- Everyone brings their stuff into the studio since there isn’t a locker situation.
- Classes are $18 each but Beyonce classes are $20 each and multi-class money saving packages are available.
- Most classes don’t require a reservation but the Beyonce classes do and book up fast. Check the website for all their class offerings and schedule.